steven's Journal

12:06am: THE END...
Add offmychest if your my friend!

8:03pm: In the Last few weeks ive doubted a few important parts of my life
Ive had to make a huge decsion that was so hard to make.

Ive been dissapointed in a few of people i thought i knew better

But ive also learnt a lot about myself, i need to start being more
patient with people, and more understanding.

Its weird how in one instant, you can realise who you are,
and what you really need in life, but the changes you go through as a person
to get you to that point is usually a long road that you dont even
realise your taking.

Through all of this ive been blessed to have my amazing girlfriend, and
my few close friends who took the time to keep me positive, and happy.

thankyou.

P.S Dying Cause ruled so much today, im very very impressed, and thankyou to
everyone who came up the front for MilesAway even after a show like last nights'
we appreciate your support more than you could ever know.

12:48am: Girls who say they like HC but only actually like HC boys can fuck off.

Sluts are disgusting. Wheres your sence of dignity gone?

Lord of the rings rules.

11:08am: TRUE FRIENDS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE
So SOIA are coming to australia in april.
I realllllllly realllllllly want to go, hopefully i can afford to by then, or at least afford to take out a loan to be able to afford to go.
Sick of it all are still the best hardcore bands in the world.
For more than a decade theyve played amazing, purely honest, inspiring hardcore, and theyve been one of my favourite bands for years.
Its now or never.

11:18pm: Magic dirt can eat a fat dickkkk
so heres the obligatory rundown post of my big day out experience...
-Blood duster were tight and good, but not as heavy as i had anticipated them to be live after listening to mostof there recorded stuff... still good, but kinda seedy which was obviously to be expected. Bogans and junkies make me wanna puke. Leave to check the darkness...
-Heat is kicking in a fair bit.
-Masses upon masses of people... more than last year for sure
-Darkness was cool... cool costumes, awesome guitarwork longest outros ever.
-Black eyed pease also good. Lots of weed in the air, higher frequency use of the word 'motherfucker' than i had anticipated from this 'posi hiphop' group.
-Too many lines for food and toilets
-Mars volta were a bit over the top i think... i loved the first 15 minutes, but then i was kinda wishing theyd play some actual songs and not be so noisy.
-Poison the well. Over the past 4 years ptw have been one of my favourite 2 or 3 bands consistantly. I love there old stuff i love there new stuff. In my mind they could do no wrong... today i dunno if they were tired, or not happy to be here, but they just seemed to not care. There set was shorter than it was supposed to be, but musically it was brilliant. Geoffs vocals were way more powerful and perfect than i had ever expected, and they were super tight, but they just didnt seem that much into it.
As well as this, there were bogans acting like retards pushing people around, and the security guard sprayed everyone with water... but seeing junior burger crowey dancing and singing along made up for it all :)
-Magic dirt sucked harder than anyone. so painful... i didnt watch but we decided to sit and wait for thursday and they were on the stage next door, they hurt my ears.
-Thursday were really really amazing, the music was tight, the vocals were occasionally out of key but very passionate which is always more important. Super energetic considering it was the last show of the tour and there plane had apparently almost crashed on arrival to perth... they played a really good mix of songs of bothe there albums... very impressed. oh and the singer looked like an emo version of NH.
-The one metallica song we checked out was that stupid saint anger song... sucked. How can such a great band turn so bad. How can one band create songs like 'one', or 'master of puppets' then end up making this.

This week im gonna prepare to enterthe workforce by attempting to tye up all loose ends i have with tafe, im gonna train hard, i have a basketball final on thursday, and i have some band practices...

Id like to also send all my good luck wishes out to mawds who is a bit sick at the moment... the mosh today just wasnt the same... get well soon bro!

10:21pm: Australia day is a joke.
Fucking drunk meatheads fighting each other.
Personally im far from proud, im ashamed.

11:57pm: havent updated in a while...
because we havent got the net anymore
it rules in almost every sence.
the net fucking sucks, but its good in moderation, its one big rumour starting, gossip spreading, intention misconstruing, pile of bollox.
today i went to the beach with my sweetheart and her little negro-spanish brother.
tonite i went to the gym, there was a 90's special on fox they played november rain by guns n roses, and creep by radiohead two of the greatest songs ever for sure.
we were gonna do a split cd (burnforme) with from these wounds outta brisbane but they just lost theyre drummer so thats gonna have to be postponed for a while... looking for another band to do one with uin the mean time. i like the idea of split cds as a first proper release.
watched punch drunk love yesterday it was pretty wack but kinda cute, and he got game again, that movie rules and always gets me syked about basketball. also brotherhood of the wolf its pretty cool, and stylish i love movies thaqt infuse elements of different cultures. tattood, kung fu master, french speaking navahoe indians slaying mecahnical werewolfes rule you have to admit!
this week i might be going to see my ma, and my little sisters, but i may not be able to get a bus... does anyone have a health care card i can borrow?!?! you have to be male!
christmas time eh, lotsa food and all that...
the week after that i start doing work experience that should be cool. learning rules.
im babbling big time
cya

10:32pm: so.. i havent felt so dissapointed in a long time.
bfm absolutely sucked tonite... first song was fine rest was so bad
i feel so bad.
everyone says i shoudlnt but when something that means so much fails you,
or rather i fail it i cant help but feel this way
we dont deserve anything we have.
this week im going to try keep to myself.
the only person i want to see is jess.
im going to train fucking hard, and im going to spend some time alone with my basketball again i havent done that for a long time. mr.spalding your such a dear friend ill never forget you.
im also gonna try keep of the net and find a job
cya.

11:47am: 1) First Grade Teacher: Mrs. Boulger
2) Last word you said: thankyou
3) Last song you sang: mobb deep - shook ones
4) Last person you hugged: jessica ruith <3<3
6) Last time you said 'I love you': jessica!
7) Last time you cried: not really sure
8) What's in your CD player: god forbid-determination but it isnt what im listening to.
9) What color socks are you wearing: White
10) What's under your bed: my stepfathers rotting corpse
11) What time did you wake up today: 9:00
12) Current taste: vanilla protein shake taste
13) Current hair: crap, and messy
14) Current clothes: dickies shorts, rusty polo, socks
15) Current annoyance: hmmmm flies?
16) Current longing: too see my girl
17) Current desktop picture: westside warfare
18) Current worry: tafe results, getting a job asap
19) Current hate: flies. fakes. christmas shopping.
20) Story behind your username: classic hiphop album from the GZA
21) Current favorite article of clothing: no particular
22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: hair, eyes, mouth
23) Last CD that you bought: Alloutwar - condemned to suffer
25) Least favorite place: this house when its messy
26) Time you wake up in the morning: lately 7:30 - 8:30
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: i can play a few different instruments, but id like to learn violin one day.
28) Favorite color: red
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: im not sure... im agnostic haha
30) How tall are you: about 6'2
31) Current favorite word/saying: mintox... nah not really i dont think i have one
32) Favorite book: the black dahlia - james ellroy
33) Favorite season: spring
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: noone, if your not still in my life i probably hate you.
35) Favorite day: Friday
36) Where do you want to go: japan
37) What is your career going to be like?: fun and fullfiling
38) How many kids do you want?: 2.3
39) What kind of car will you have: monaro jet black
40) Type a line you remember from any book: ...
41) A random lyric: this is as bitter as it is beautiful...the conflict of truths within each vein... this is of my being of my blood ... this... that within blood ill tempered

8:58pm: hmmm cant be fucked writing sentences.

Props!
+ JESS RUIZ
+ MUM
+ Jon Moon
+ Basketball
+ Almost finshed tafe!
+ Birthday tomorroW!
+ MINDSNARE MOTHERFUCKERS
+ band practice on saturday it feels like forever since MA have been in the same room.

Slops! (BOO)
- Not seeing jess that much this week
- sucking at basketball i must start playing more again
- turning 21 i feel kinda old my days are numbered now
- still a week and a bit till MINDSNAREEEEE
- missing out on terror

11:41am: Big day out is gonna be awesome.
Posion the well have been one of my favourite bands for the last 3 years, and i also really want to see black eyed peas, 1200 techniques, mars volta, thursday, blood duster, DJ afrika bambatta, the strokes and the darkness would be ok too.
i needa get my ticket!

11:08am: karma sparma
the day i decide to be nice to a junkie and give him $2 for what he convinced me he was going to use to pay for methadone (which turned out he used on red rooster), some fucking asshole decides to break into our house, and steal my backpack with all my notes and assignments (the ones id actually finished)... what a fucking usless sack of shit.
kinda clever useless sack of shit in someways tho i must say...
between 3am when rach went to bed and 7am when i woke up he got into the house without leaving a trace when every single door was locked. i specifically remember locking them myself.
cuntface.

7:00pm: Ok so a lot of people are feeling very bummed out about the
atmosphere at sunday's show.

I for one was fucking pissed off at the actions of a lot of people,
and at the same time disappointed and apathetic that these actions can still pass through so many minds unfiltered.
Is it that hard to be a good person? is it that hard to treat people with
in-discriminatory respect and not judge? and, is it that hard to stand by your friends?
I think the term friendship is used way too loosely in hardcore scenes all around the world, particularly on the internet. Hardcore is supposed to be all about friendship,
honesty, loyalty, respect, and perseverance. At least thats what it means to me.
With this in mind, everyone is supposed to get along, and have a good time, instead people start rumors, and they travel through so called friends, and the more 'friends' there are the worse it seems to get.
In preschool we used to play chinese whispers for a fun break during class, i would never have thought that 15 years down the track people would still be playing the same fucking game. Only this time more malicious and hurtful.

This isnt another rant post, ive already done mine, and ive said my piece to some people involved. I hope the instigators grow up, and i hope my friends are strong enough to forget about it.
On the contrary, its an appreciation post.

To show my appreciation to the people who deserve it,

To the people who come to every show for the right reasons:
No matter what happens, how much shit has been spoken, how many people have been betrayed, how many wannabees plague the scene... you make it all worthwhile.

To the new kids that sit and watch:
Hardcore is full of some fuckheads, and some awesome people. Who your lucky, or unlucky enough to be involved with determines the fun you have, and the impact it has on your life... so good luck!

To davey, Adam, and anyone who organises shows, helps out bands, or plays in a band:
Thankyou so much, dont think your work goes unappreciated! even at times like this, when everyone is bummed on a show, deepdown everyone that counts still admires you for the work youve done. Theyll be back next show and will probably rave about how good it was again!

No more of this.

Mindsnare will be great. Dont any of you motherfuckers ruin it for me.

thanks for your time, back to homework.

8:51pm: Dear diary,

I know this isnt the place to talk about the way i feel towards some people at the moment, because of this im gonna try describe to you how i feel without naming any names.

Someone dear to me has been hurt today.
All because of rumour starting parasites.
Sometimes i wonder if other musical genre 'scenes' have so many useless fucking bitches.
Im leaning towards NO, but im hoping yes.
Im hoping its just an ever-present flaw in human nature.
It just seems to happen so often.

Looking out for a friend is one thing yes, and if i knew something that my friend should know about then yeh id let them know too. Its the right thing to do.
The wrong thing to do is to take something that isnt truth, just speculation, blow it out of proportion,
and tell everyone else that has nothing to do with the situation along the way.
This is hurtful to the people that are actually involved.

So to anyone involved in this pathetic rumour FUCK YOU!
And to my friend forget these fucks, theyre a waste of time, and air space.
Stay strong you know im here for you.

Thankyou for your time live journal, your much like a father behind a veiled confession box.

9:35am: siked for today!
damn this heat tho!
sad to not see my fav band for a while after this tho! :(

10:07am: People keep asking me lately wether or not im straight edge.

In the past ive had a lot of fun gettin drunk with friends, a lot of good times, and a lot of bad too.
About a month ago i decided in a moment of clarity, that i didnt need drugs in my life.

I realised that i had everything anyone could ever want (except for a job) an amazing girlfriend who is so supportive, and awesome whom i want to spend the rest of my days with, an awesome group of friends, i have my health, hardcore, and my family.

I decided that these things were far too precious and dear to me to take for granted anymore, and that i needed a clear mind to always express the way i really feel, to remember every special moment, and cherish everything that i have to the extent of which it should be.

Im sick of waking up with that awful feeling of regret, and not being able to remember things, im sick of my brain being numbed almost to the point of fucking stupidity. And all for what?
Since i made that decision ive started to see things more clear than i ever have.

Now i see an add for beer on tv or on a billboard, and it makes me nautious instead of tempted. Instead of thinking of the good times, i think of fathers beating theyre wives and children, i think of hobos, who are too fucked up to go into a centerlink office and start paying rent like everyone in this country is able to do, I think of teenage girls wasting theyre beauty and losing theyre integrity. All for the sake of this 'social' drug that is so widely accepted, as a normal pasttime.
Its fucked up to think like that i know, it is a burden, but its helped me to make a positive decision.

The worst thing is that when i tell people i dont drink, theyre in amazement. They think its that weird that someone my age has decided not to do drugs anymore. This makes me feel so sorry for these people.. is it that hard a concept that drugs and alcohol are actually a negitive on everyones life.

I cant help the way i feel anymore, but i wanna stress that ill never look down on anyone who understands where im coming from but still enjoys, and partakes in using drugs. MOst of my best freinds still all drink a lot, and i have no problem with that at all. not even the slightest! hahah

What i do have a problem with is people smoking cigarettes, they kill more people than anything else, and they endanger the people thyer smoking them around. Its a disgusting, selfish habit, but once again if thats your choice then so be it.

Other recreational drugs supposedly bring out 'the love' in people, but beneath all that they corrode the brain of the user bigtime. They make people completely lose sight of the value of friendship and family. I mean who needs real friends when you can pay fifty bucks for an E and have a whole room of them! sure...
Ive whitnessed first hand what these drugs do to people in the long term. My best friend at one time stabbed me in the fucken back because his brain was so fried and i guess he mustve forgotten what we once meant to each other. But i hate people who use drugs as an excuse. He took that shit time and time again, and ill never forgive him for what he did.

So in summation, I am proud to be drugfree, However straight edge is ruined by fakes. Ive always had respect for people who take that path for the right reasons, i love it. But unfortunately there are so many out there who treat it as a fashion accessory, and at this point in time the way i feel about being drugfree is too strong to have it trivialised by associating myself with the fakes.
-steven

10:26pm: dear livejournal,
I spend my days of late, busy at tafe, trying hard to catch up in the few weeks that remain in my course, or in the company of my amazing girlfriend, days are good. I spend my nights alone, wishing i wasnt, contemplating, and pondering what my future holds, and where i hope to be in 5, 10, 20 years time.
I think im getting old.
I hope my parents give me lots of cash for my birthday... i doubt they will tho :( i have so many debts to pay off, and id really like some money to spend... Id LOOOOVE to buy some new clothes, some stuff for jess, some new ink, some new music, or even just money to put away for the melbourne trip next year, recording, or the printing of burnforme merchandise.
Wah money sucks!
sorry for wasting your time mr livejournal.

3:41pm:
You are BUER, demon of the second order, a
president of hell. He had the form of a star or
of a wheel with five branches, and advanced by
rolling over himself. He teaches philosophy,
logic, and the virtues of herbal medicine. He
boasts of giving good servants and curing the
sick. He commands fifty legions.


Which Infernal Being Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

well that guys pretty fucken evil.

The weekend was pretty good as a whole...
Friday nite, hung with jessica and watched 'Spider'. At the time i thought it was pretty average, but looking back it was actually quite good. Really nice photography, and good acting, but i thought the storyline was quite bland at times, and fairly predictable.
Saturday, i saw cory for the first time in months it was good to catch up, then 208 was lotsa fun at night. I feel bad for not watching AIDS, and halo of knives, not because others didnt, but because i was actually looking forward to it but after ruins i had a pretty bad headache, and it was too hot inside :( and i hate Hailstones (rohan is cool tho!)
Fast Eddys'Cop the lot'burger fucken rules.
Sunday i spent alll day with jess, it was lots and lots of fun, just the two of us. Such a nice day, but ive never ever seen a beach so packed... i guess this is to be expected tho with the weather of recent times.

The week ahead is full of LOTS AND LOTS of study, i have a lot to catch up on, its getting intense. Compilation launches on friday and Peteypetes birthday on Saturday. Make sure you all venture to the hills ya hear!

Its my birthday in a few weeks... Dec. 5th to be exact, i was going to have a party but i dont think i will... theres a cool show on that night and i really cant be fucked organising anything really haha

The only real lowlight of my life at the moment is my lack of monetary income... its never really bothered me before, but im in quite a bit of debt, and there are so many things i wanna buy, clothes etc. and things to save for, recording, touring etc. Plus ive been thinking about my future more and more lately, and i want to start saving for that too!

It feels good to be drugfree. At this point in time id like to think ill never feel the urge to drink another drink, or take another drug, and if i do i feel im strong enough to fight it off... It really is a good feeling though and im glad that i made the decision.

well sorry for boring the pants off you!
bye bye
steven

5:28pm: the last week or so has been really cool...
all the horsell shows were great cept for the bar120 show... that was a bit of a flop
Halloween was amazing!!! The nite as a whole was great, it was really good to see
everyone dressed up, and having fun.

I dont like fighting or violence but i cant fucking stand to see my friends get picked on, or even confronted for that matter... Resorting to violence is definately a personal flaw in anybody, im pretty bad in that regard ill admit, but if any mindless fuck has a go at my friends i generally have trouble being diplomatic before reacting physically. It was a pity that some people that had nothing to do with the guy who got beaten or the people who did the beating, saw what happened... in a way it refects badly on all the great people involved in hardcore... but at the same time i have no sympathy for people who have corroded there brains so badly that they dont even realise the possible repurcussions of there selfish actions.
Drugs cant be used as an excuse for these people, they chose to use them in the first place... i hope every junkie burns in hell, and doesnt take anyone down with them along the way.
The last paragraph seems pretty negi, but im not in a bad mood at all.

In fact in the passed week or so ive started seeing things clearer than ever...
Ive started thinking a lot more about my future, i hope i can start working fulltime sometime in the next year and save for a house, and car as ive already found the girl i want to be with for the rest of ever.
Its a good feeling.
Ive also decided to completely stop using drugs and alcohol... im sick of corroding my body and my mind... theyre so much more important for things other than mindless selfindulgence, and 'recreation'. I relaised yesterday afternoon that i dont need it in my life at all.
So sorry to all of those who ive amused with my drunken slur, and silly behaviour in the past im over it haha :)
I look so forward to going over east to play... the main show is almost confirmed... its a great lineup so far.

+ All my friends who make life so enjoyable
+ People who dress up
+ People who dance in bfm breakdowns
+ People who sing along to Miles Away
+ People who dont mock Nick, and myselfs awesome quality artwork
+ As if we dont know what the song order is
+ Jessica Ruiz
+ Pete Happy BDAY!
+ Nick being a clown

- junkies
- dodgy asian seafood
- cripps always farting

byeeee

3:42pm: HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
I havent updated in a while...
oh so sad... sorry to keep you waiting guys! haha (kidding)

lately ive been super busy at tafe, with music, and just having fun with my incredible girl,
and all my friends whom i love so dearly.
I really cant wait to finish tafe and have a qualification... this has been one of the best decisions ive made in my life. With health and fitness being such a growing concern within the general population there is no shortage of jobs, and i feel that im really good at what i do cuz i love doing it and fitness is such a big part of my life.

Miles Away demo is out now! if you havent got one get one! please. im pretty happy with it but look forward to recording new material in the not-too-distant future.

Bun For Me are recording in January, Touring the east coast in April, thanks to Crafter, and tommydollars for the support. Towards the end of 2004 europe will be hit up too if all goes according to plan... Caliban here we come! haha Tshirts coming very soon! get one and be fashionable, and i wanna start artwork for the ep soon... its tough tho. I want it to look dark but not cliche. its hard to find the balance.

i gotta go! cyall tonite!!
steven

10:09pm: welll... times are great... everything is goodo.
today i got offered a month and a half tour of eurpope for burn for me...
but alas we cant pay for the flights and he doubts he can either.
oh what id give to play with CALIBAN...
for more burnforme news have a laugh at this shit.
http://www.perthbands.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=2645&st=0
big week next week, lots and lotsa great shows... should be a good one!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
James

2. WHAT KIND OF PANTS ARE YOU WEARING
Denim SHorts

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
nothing

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE
NUMBER?
3007

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
too much shepards pie! eh eh eh

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD
YOU BE?
red

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?
uhmm dunno

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
my jessica ruizzzz


9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE
OTHER SEX?
eyes, smile, hair

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU
THIS?
i STOLE IT mwahaha but yeh rach is my homeboy

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
good thankyou

12. FAVORITE DRINK?
red creaming soda


13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
bourbon and dr pepper

14. FAVORITE SPORTS?
basketball, cricket

15. HAIR COLOR?
brown

16. EYE COLOR?
blue

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?
lil sis 9, and 15 (ish) old bro 28 old sis 33

19. FAVORITE MONTH?
december my birthday and xmas

20. FAVORITE FOOD?
most

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
kill bill

22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
12/04/03

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
N/A, otherwise no

24. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING
MOVIES BETTER?
both

25. SUMMER OR WINTER?
summer

26. HUGS OR KISSES?
both

28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
chocoalte

29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?
nope, i wouldnt think theyd have as much spare time are there hands as me hahah

30. WHO IS MOST LIKELY NOT TO RESPOND?
no idea

31. WHO IS LIKELY TO RESPOND?
no idea

32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?
pro basketball today

33. WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER (Also
DESKTOP)?
some dirty slut from suicide girls

34. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
pictionary, i cant be beaten

35. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?
hung out with my awesome girrrrrl

36. FAVORITE SMELLS?
cawfee, jess

37. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF
WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
jess, and also how bad the alarm sounds!

38. FAVORITE ALBUM TITLE? (JUST THE TITLE,
REGARDLESS OF THE MUSIC)
the whispered lies of angels

39. EVER BREAK SOMEONE'S HEART?
dunno

40. DO YOU SMOKE? IF YES, PLEASE ELABORATE:
no fucken way, dirties habit

41. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY?
dunno

42. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY?
dunno

43. HAVE ANY NICKNAMES?
hoppo, it sux tho

44. WHEN DID YOU LAST "GET SOME?"
never you mind

45. ARE YOU HAPPY?
yes

46. ARE YOU HORNY?
yes

47. What can you say about the person who sent
you this?
no one sent it to me

48. ARE you a fag?
nope

49. have you ever had the beer shits?
grosswhat the fuck is that

12:12pm: soooo...
last night show was good, ruins were heavy as a motherfucker.
the last breakdown in home was fkn incredible...
the nite as a whole was good but i was in a weird mood, little bit tired,
and a bit sick so hopefully today will be better.
Kill Bill is incredible. Most violent thing ive ever seen in my life...
anyone reading this should go see it if you havent already, its the perfect example of why film and television corrupts the brain and desensitizes us, but its great.
blah.

12:43pm: Last night was fucking awesome!!!
I think Burn For Me defs coulda played a lot better but thats ok...
the Miles Away set was by far the funnest time ive ever had playing music.
i love this shit!

4:31pm: THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01 | Lonliness
02 | Drowning
03 | Dying, trying to scream and not making a sound
--------------------------------------------------
THREE PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME LAUGH:
01 | Nick
02 | Can
03 | Jess
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | Jess Ruiz!
02 | Hardcore
03 | basketball
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | Losing
02 | Fake people
03 | cigarettes
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK:
01 | a half empty glass
02 | a toy turtle
03 | my hat
-------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01 | breathing
02 | witing for basketball
03 | anticipating tomorow, a day full of niceness with jessica, and a night full of destruction
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Play basketball
02 | Play guitar
03 | persuade karl to trade me stuff!
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01 | drive
02 | sleep normal hours
03 | stop eating choccolate mmm
--------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | fool the world
02 | your mom
03 | me
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | 'fuck'
02 | 'can is so dodgy'
03 | ...
---------------------------------------------------
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
01 | pizza
02 | chocolate
03 | anything thats tasty and mildly nutritious
---------------------------------------------------
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01 | to drive
02 | backflips
03 | the meaning of life
---------------------------------------------------
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01 | water
02 | koola cordial
03 | cawfee
---------------------------------------------------
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01 | he-man
02 | TMNT
03 | twin peaks

eh eh eh
i have a compulsive-quiz-filling-out dissorder. seriously i cant help it!
adios

11:35pm: Fool the world amaze me in ways i cant explain, they remind me of why music is such a big, beautiful part of my life. They remind me of the feeling you get when you fall in love, and also the feeling you get when you lose someone dear to you. all at once.
There have only been 2 bands that have compelled me in such a way, Shai Hulud, and Dead Blue Sky, both of which have split up, and in all honesty i think im more in love with ftw than either of those bands.
Im gonna miss them so much when jezz and tasso go on holiday, they are so brilliant.

ARGH!

Anyway, ive fixed up a misunderstanding with my great friend nick. I know your probably reading this and youll probably think im homo, but im so happy to have fixed that up. You truly are one of the best friends ive ever had and id hate to lose that for anything let alone petty shit like that... but you already know that anyway!

ahhh anyway in summary last week i stated that i wanted DBS to be played at my funeral now ive changed that to fooltheworld. as i depart the world and look down on all the good and bad things i leave behind i wanna hear them! not that im gonna die anytime soon or anything but yeh. I wanna start dancing at shows soon (tony, scott, and bob are with me!) and i really want it to be for ftw but when they play my knees get all buckled and i feel like collapsing and stuff. what can i do Dr. Phil?!

Im gonna finish this boringass, overemotional post with a quote...
'Your elegant eyes are merciless
As the wind whips through your silhouette of grace
Shade my eyes from impurity
I put my trust in you will you put your trust in me?'

P.S Adam your voice has grown to incredible heights kiddo, you make your mother and i extremely proud!